It is true that I quite like classical music, opera (though mainly the comic opera of messieurs Gilbert and Sullivan) and I have a soft spot for jazz (well, I have to with my brother being so keen on it). When I'm drunk, I might even shake my body in a chessy night club. My record collection is, however is dominated by rock music.

I have roughly 400 rock albums in my collection. That's a fair number, but I know people who have more an thousand, such that each one can only listened every 5 years!
My favourite acts include Genesis, Yes, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Peter Gabriel, Marillion, Fish, Jean-Michel Jarre, Simple Minds, Neil Young, U2, Mike Oldfield, The Rolling Stones, Emerson, Lake and Palmer, The Who, Aerosmith, Deep Purple, Depeche Mode, The Doors, Santana, Dire Straits, King Crimson, The Band, Bob Dylan, Black Sabbath, Eric Clapton, Cream,  Pearl Jam, and Jimi Hendrix.

 

Here are my favourite 30 albums, in reverse order, as they would do on Top of the Pops.

 

I'm sure many rock critics will be outraged by some of the inclusions, and non-inclusions. Lists tend to dsiappreciated more than they are appreciated!

30) Rendez-Vous Jean-Michel Jarre, 1986. First Rendez-Vous, Second Rendez-Vous, Third Rendez-Vous, Fourth Rendez-Vous, Fifth Rendez-Vous, Sixth Rendez-Vous (Ron's Piece),
	29)The Doors The Doors, 1967. Break on Through to the Other Side, Soul Kitchen, The Crystal Ship, Twentieth Century Fox, Alabama Song, Light my Fire, Back Door Man, I looked at You, End of the Night, Take it as it Comes, The End.
28) Beggar's Banquet  Rolling Stones, 1968. Sympathy for the Devil, No Expectations, Dear Doctor, Parachute Woman, Jig-Saw Puzzle, Street FIghting Man, Prodigal Son, Stray Cat Blues, Factory Girl, Salt of the Earth.
	27)Led Zeppelin II Led Zeppelin, 1969. Whole Lotta Love, What is and What Should Never Be, The Lemon Song, Thank You, Heartbreaker, Loving Loving Maid, Ramble On, Moby Dick, Bring it on Home.
26) Tubular Bells II Mike Oldfield, 1991. Sentinel, Dark Star, Clear Light, Blue Saloon, Sunhammer, Red Dawn, The Bell, Weightless, The Great Plain, Sunset Door, Tattoo, Altered State, Maya Gold, Mooshine.
	25) US Peter Gabriel, 1992. Come Talk to Me, I Love to Be Loved, Blood of Eden, Steam, Only Us, Washing of the Water, Digging in the Dirt, Fourteen Black Paintings, Kiss that Frog, Secret World.
24) Machine Head Deep Purple, 1972. Highway Star, Maybe I'm a Leo, Pictures of Home, Never Before, Smoke on The Water, Lazy, Space Truckin'.
	23) Anderson, Bruford, Wakeman and Howe Anderson, Bruford, Wakeman and Howe. Themes, Fist of Fire, Brother of Mine, The Birthright, The Meeting, Quartet, Teakbois, The order of the Universe, Lets Pretend.
22) Déjà Vu Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, 1970. Carry on, Teach Your Children, Cut My Hair, Helpless, Woodstock, Déjà Vu, Our House, Four and Twenty, Country Girl.
	21) New Gold Dream 81-82-83-84  Simple Minds, 1982. Someone Somewhere in Summertime, Colours Fly amd Catherine Wheel, Promised You a Miracle, Big Sleep, New Gold Dream 81-82-83-84, Glittering Prize, The Hunter and the Hunted, King is White and in The Crown.
20) Script for a Jester's Tear Marillion, 1983. Script for a Jester's Tear, He Knows You Know, The Web, Garden Party, Chelsea Monday, Forgotten Sons.
	19) Quadrophenia. The Who, 1973. I am the Sea, The Real Me, Quadrophenia, Cut my Hair, The Punk and the Godfather, I'm one, The DIrty Jobs, Helpless DAncer, Is it in my Head? I've had enough, 5:15, Sea and Sand, Bellboy, Doctor Jimmy, Thre Rock, Love Reign Over Me.
18) Who's Next The Who, 1971. Baba O'Riley, Bargain, Love Ain't For Keeping, My Wife, Song is Over, Getting in Tune, Going Mobile, Behind Blue Eyes, Won't Get Fooled Again.
	17) Street Fighting Years Simple Minds, 1989. Street Fighting Years, Soul Crying Out, Brick Wall of Love, This is Your Land, Take a Step Back, Kick it in, Let it all Come Down, Mandela Day, Belfast Child, Biko, When Spirits Rise.
16) Love Over Gold Dire Straits, 1982. Telegraph Road, Private Investigations, Industrial Disease, Love Over Gold, It Never Rains.
	15) The Wall Pink Floyd, 1979. In the Flesh?, Thin Ice, Another Brick in the Wall part 1, The Happiest Days of our Lives, Another Brick in the Wall part 2, Mother, Good Bye Blue Sky, Empty Spaces, Young Lust, One of My Turns, Don't Leave me Now, Another Brick in the Wall part 3, Goodbye Cruel World, Hey You, Is There Anybody Out There?, Nobody Home, Vera, Bring the Boys Back Home, Comfortably Numb, The Show Must Go On, In the Flesh, Run Like Hell, Waiting for the Worms, Stop, The Trial, Outside the Wall.
14) Peter Gabriel Peter Gabriel, 1982. Rhythm of the Heat, San Jacinto, I Have the Touch, The Family and the Fishing Net, Shock the Monkey, Lay Your Hands on Me, Wallflower, Kiss of Life.
	13) A Trick of the Tail Genesis, 1976. Dance on a Volcano, Entangled, Squonk, Mad Man Moon, Robbery Assault and Battery, Ripples, A Trick of the Tail. Los Endos.
12) Physical Graffitti Led Zeppelin, 1975. Custard Pie, The Rover, In my Time of Dying, Houses of the Holy, Trampled under Foot, Kashmir, In the Light, Bron-y-aur, Down by the Seaside, Ten Years Gone, Night Flight, The Wanton Song, Boogie With Stu, Black Country Woman, Sick Again.
	11) Fragile Yes, 1973. Roundabout, Cans and Brahms, We Have Heaven, South Side of The Sky, Five Percent for Nothing, Long Distance Run Around, The Fish, Heart of The Sunrise.
10) Four Symbols Led Zeppelin, 1971. Black Dog, Rock and Roll, The Battle of Evermore, Stairway to Heaven, Misty Moiuntain Hop, Four Sticks, Going to Callifornia, When The Levée Breaks.
	9) Going for the One Yes, 1977. GoIng For the One, Turn of the Century, Parallels, Wonderous Stories, Awaken.
8) Foxtrot Genesis, 1976 Watcher of the Skies, Time Table, Get 'em Out by Friday, Can-Utility and the Coastliners, Horizons, Suppers Ready (i Lovers Leap, ii The Giarenteed Eternal Sanctuary Man, iii Iknaton and Istacon and his band of Merry Men, iv How Dare I be So Beautiful?, v Willow Farm, vi Apocalyse in 9/8, As Sure as Eggs is Eggs)
	7) Vigil in a Wilderness of Mirrors Fish, 1990. Vigil, Big Wedge, State of Mind, The Company, A gentleman's Excues me, Voyeur (I Like to Watch), Family Business, View From a Hill, Cliché.
6) Animals Pink Floyd, 1977. Pigs on the WIng Part 1, Dogs, Pigs (Three different ones), Sheep, Pigs on the Wing part 2.
	5)  Wish You Were Here, Pink Floyd, 1975. Shine on You Crazy Diamond part 1, Welcome to the Machine, Have a Cigar, WIsh You WEre Here, Shine on You Crazy Diamond Part 2.
4) Selling England by the Pound Genesis, 1973. Dance with The Moonlit Knight, I Know What I Like, Firth of Fifth, More Fool Me, The Battle of Epping Forest, AFter The Ordeal, Cinema Show, Aisle of Plenty.
	3) Close to the Edge Yes, 1972 Close to the Edge (The Soild Time of Change, Total Mass Retain, I Get Up I Get Down, Seasons of Man), And You and I (Cord of LIfe, Eclipse, The Preacher the Teacher, Apocalyse), Siberian Khatru.
2) Fugazi Marillion, 1984. Assassing, Punch and Judy, Jigsaw, Emerald Lies, She Chameleon, Incubus, Fugazi.
	1) The Lamb Lies down on Broadway Genesis, 1974. The Lamb lies down on broadway, Fly on a Windshield, Broadway melody of 1974, Cookoo Cocoon, In the Cage, The Grand Parade of Lifeless Packaging, Back in NYC, Hairless Heart, Counting out Time, The Carpet Crawl, The Chamber of 32 Doors, Liliywhite Lilith, The Waiting Room, Anyway, The Supernatural Anaestitist, The Lamia, Silent Sorrows in Empty Boats, The Colony of Slippermen (i Arrival, ii A visit to the Doktor, iii Raven), Ravine, The Light Dies Down n Broadway, Riding the Scree, In the Rapids, It.

THE BEST 10 LIVE ALBUMS

10) 101 (Depeche Mode, 1988)

9) The Thieving Magpie (Marillion, 1988)

8) Delicate Sounds of Thunder (Pink Floyd, 1988)

7) Pulse (Pink Floyd, 1994)

6) An Evening of Yes Music Plus..... (Anderson, Bruford, Wakeman and Howe, 1990)

5) Three Sides Live (Genesis, 1982)

4) Archive 1967-75 (Genesis, released 1998)

3) Live in The City of Light (Simple Minds, 1987)

2) Yessongs (Yes, 1972)

1) Seconds Out (Genesis, 1977)

Not a great deal of variety there. 

THE BEST 20 SONGS

Here's a list of my 20 favourite rock songs, most of which are in the above album list. The albums they're taken from are in bracket, along with the durations.

 

20) Hocus Pocus (Focus, Moving Waves, 6:48)

19) And You and I (Yes, Close to the Edge, 18:12)

18) View from a Hill (Fish, Vigil in a WIlderness of Mirrors, 6:39)

17) When the Levée Breaks (Led Zeppelin, The Four Symbols, 7:08)

16) Second Rendez-Vous (Jean-Michel Jarre, Close to the Edge, 8:20)

15) Telegraph Road (Dire Straits, Love Over Gold, 14:20)

14) In the Cage (Genesis, The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway, 17:01)

13) Heart of the Sunrise (Yes, Fragile, 10:34)

12) Fugazi (Marillion, Fugazi, 8:37)

11) Kashmir (Led Zeppelin, Foxtrot, 9:37)

10) Vigil (Fish, Vigil in a WIlderness of Mirrors, 8:46)

9) Incubus (Marillion, Fugazi, 8:37)

8) The Cinema Show (Genesis, Selling England by the Pound, 11:04)

7) Sheep (Pink Floyd, Animals, 10:23)

6) Firth of Fifth (Genesis, Selling England by the Pound, 9:37)

5) Awaken (Yes, Going for the One, 15:48)

4) Dogs (Pink Floyd, Animals, 17:01)

3) Close to the Edge (Yes, Close to the Edge, 18:12)

2) Shine on You Crazy Diamond Part 1 (Pink FLoyd, Wish You Were Here)

1) Supper's Ready (Genesis, Foxtrot 22:58)

 

 

THE 10 BEST GUITAR SOLOS

Anyone who likes rock music, loves a good guitar solo. Here's a list of my ten favourites.

THE TOP 10 OPENINGS

As far as I'm concerned, the first 20 seconds of a rock song is very important. Here are the rock songs with the best openings

10) Sorrow (Pink FLoyd, A Momentary Lapse of Reason)

9) Up on The Catwalk (Simple Minds, Sparkle in the Rain)

8) The Rover (Led Zeppelin, Physical Graffitti)

7) Life's What you Make it (Talk Talk, The Colour of Spring)

6) Promised You a Miracle (Simple Minds, Live in the City of Light')

5) If there is Something (Roxy Music, Roxy Music)

4) When the Levée Breaks (Led Zeppelin, The Four Symbols

3) Going for the One (Yes, Going for the One)

2) Assassing (Marillion, Roxy Music)

1) Abacab (Genesis, Three Sides Live)

 

So, Genesis comes first in this chart as well!

DAFTEST IDEAS FOR A ROCK SONG

There are plenty of daft rock songs in my collection. Here is a list of the 5 daftest idea for a rock song, starting with the least weird. Just how does one come up with these ideas? Still, I've been known to some up with crazy ideas.

5) Cut My Hair (Crosby, Stills and Nash, Déjà Vu)
A sad-sounding rock song about a man who nearly had his 'freak flag' (i.e. his hair) cut. He didn't because 'he feels like he owns it.

4) Get 'em Out by Friday by Genesis was particularly weird. It starts off with a landlord telling his agent to order his tennants in a house in Harlow (a town just north of London) to move out, and it's not due to lack of rent payment. It's part of genetic experiment where people are to be restricted in height to 4 feet or less. The aim of this is accommodate twice as many people within a given volume of apartments. The residents of Harlow just happen t be the guinea pigs.

3) Alan's Psychadelic Breakfast by Pink Floyd. This is from the album Atom Heart Mother of 1970. Were they high when they wrote this? Or were they just to think of something to fill up the rest of the record? It starts off with a dripping tap and a man (presumably Alan) listing the ingredients of his breakfast: eggs, bacon, sausage, toast, marmalade (he likes marmalade), We then him cook them, and then the kettle whistles. After that it's mainly just random notes on the piano and some persussion. It picks up a bit af rhythm towards the end, but not much. Roger Waters did admit that, aside from the title track, the album was a bit of a mess.

2) Charlie's Enormous Mouth by Frank Zappa. I think that just about all of Frank Zappa's tracks are weird, at least by name in the case of the instrumental tracks. This one is from the album 'You are what you is' from 1981. It's not a concept album, but a lot of the songs follow on from the previous song or into the next one. This song is, as one might expect expect, about a woman called Charlie who has an enormous mouth. It is such a surprise when hearing the opening line "Charlie's anormous mouth, well, it's awright". Her nose is quite big as well. She is also totally brain dead and dies, through some strange means, I think,

1) In Every Dream Home a Heartache (Roxy Music, For Your PLeasure, 1972)

This is a love song. For most of this song Bryan Ferry sings in a low, sad, dreary voice with the same tune repeated over and over. He starts off talking about his penthouse apartment talks about his lover. As the song progresses lines such as "Disposable darling, can't throw you away now", "Immortal and lifesize", "Your skin is like vinyl" and "My Breath is inside you" are sung. It progressively becomes obvious that his "ungrateful" lover is an inflatable doll. The song climaxes with the line "I blew up your body, but you blew my mind". That is followed by a dramatic instrumental ending with a suberb guitar solo. You have to listen to this song to fully appreciate it; excellent but bizarre.

THE WORST RHYMES IN SERIOUS SONGS

Very many silly songs, including many that I've written, include ridiculous rhymes. That's OK. Here are the 5 most ridiculous rhymes that occur in supposedly serious songs; instances where the writer asked himself, 'What on Earth shall I put in here?.'

5) "Cut-up land, each house a pool, kids wearing water wings, drink in cool" from San Jacinto by Peter Gabriel on his fourth solo album, Make no mistake, this song is a classic. But what on Earth does 'Drink in cool' mean?

4) "You think that I'm strong, you're wrong, you're wrong" from Strong by Robbie Williams. How long did it take him to think of that?

3) "The music dance and sing, they make the children really ring" from "Roundanout" by Yes in the Fragile album.

2) "Oh girl lead me thru your darkness
When this world is trying it's hardest
To leave me unimpressed
Just one caress
From you and I'm blessed."

That's from the song One Caress by Depeche Mode from the Songs of Faith and Devotion album.
The rhymes just gets worse and worse through that chorus. I think that nearly every Depeche Mode has a rhyming scheme, but every song needs one. I like Depeche Mode, as previously stated, but the better songs are the ones where the rhymes are not noticed. Perhaps it weas having to sing llines like this that drove Dave Gahan to attempoted suicide?

1) "I'm as serious as cancer when say rhythm is a dancer". From the dire song Rhythm is a dancer by Snap in 1992. The title is bad enough, thi line simply makes it laughable.

 

THE 10 SONGS WITH THE LEAST COMPREHENSIBLE LYRICS

10) Atomic (Blondie, 1981)

9) Home Sweet Home (Peter Gabriel, 1979)
Peter Gabriel's voice has been sampled (muffled) through the entirity of the second album.

8) While my Heart is Still Beating (Roxy Music, 1982)
I know what what the lyrics are to this songs, nice lyrics too. But the singing style that Bryan used on the Avalon album, makes hearing the words difficult.

7) Return of the Mack (Mark Morrison, 1995)
I can understand the woirds that the backing vocalists say. The criminal from Leicester is not easy to understand,

6) Sons and Fascination (Simple Minds, 1981)

5) Boombastic (Shaggy, 1995)

4) Wuthering Heights (Kate Bush, 1978)
Dramatic and high-pitched. Aside from the chorus it's difficult to understand the words.

3) Even Flow (Pearl Jam, 1991)
Everyone likes the first half of Pearl Jam's first album, but what are the lyrics to Even Flow? The album sleeve is of little help. I've worked out most of the chorus, having listened to it many times. The underlined bits are probably wrong!

"Even Flow, going home on motorbike
Oh we don't know, so he chases them away
Oh someday maybe, He'll begin his life again
Oh whispering hands screaming on a wave"

2) In Cars (Gary Numan, 1979)
I can understand the title words, the rest might as well be in another language.

1) Blue Monday (New Order, 1981)
I haven't worked out any of the lyrics.

THE WORST SUCCESSFUL POP SONGS EVER

10) I am the one and Only (Chesney Hawkes, 1991)*

9) There She Goes (The Las, 1989)

8) Especially for you (Kylie Minogue and Jason Donovan, 1990)*

7) Sweet Little Mystery (Wet wet wet, 1987)

6) Lady in Red (Chris De Burgh, 1986)*

5) No limits (2 Unlimited, 1992)*

4) Birdhouse in Your Soul (They Might be Giants, 1990)

3) Waterloo (ABBA, 1974)*

2) Rhythm is a Dancer (Snap, 1992)*

1) Right on Time (Black Box, 1988)*

* These 7 songs were all number 1 singles (groan).

Needless to say, none of these dongs feature in my record collection.

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