I JUST CAN'T GET IT UP

To the tune of 'I just Can't Get Enough' by Depeche Mode.

The contents of this song have bear no relevance to my personal experiences, so please don't bother to ask me.

 

Ding, ding-da-ding-da-ding ding ding,
Ding, ding-da-ding-da-ding ding ding,
Ding, ding-da-ding-da-ding ding ding,
Ding, ding-da-ding-da-ding ding ding.

I'm having problems with my circulation
I just can't get it up, I just can't get it up.
Blood won't infiltrate into my nether regions.
I just can't get it up, I just can't get it up.
This chronic impotence has really messed my up.
For I just can't seem to get it up now.

Ding, ding-da-ding-da-ding ding ding,
Ding, ding-da-ding-da-ding ding ding,
Ding, ding-da-ding-da-ding ding ding,
Ding, ding-da-ding-da-ding ding ding.

When I see pictures of ladies in the buff.
I just can't get it up, I just can't get it up.
I've tried viagra and other kinds of drugs.
Still I can't get it up, Still I can't get it up.
I've also tried those Swedish suction pumps*
But I just can't seem to get it up now.

Ding ding-da-ding-da-ding ding ding,
Ding, ding-da-ding-da-ding ding ding,
Ding, ding-da-ding-da-ding ding ding,
DANG-DANG-DA-DANG-DANG-DANG.

Ding, ding-da-ding-da-ding ding ding,
Ding, ding-da-ding-da-ding ding ding,
Ding, ding-da-ding-da-ding ding ding,
Ding, ding-da-ding-da-ding ding ding.

There was once a time, when I liked making love
When I could get it up, When I could get it up.
Could do it smoothly, or I could do it rough
Now I can't get it up, Now I can't get it up.
Can't make no babies now, since I cannot spunk up
'Cos I just can't seem to get it up now.

Ding ding-da-ding-da-ding ding ding,
Ding, ding-da-ding-da-ding ding ding,
Ding, ding-da-ding-da-ding ding ding,
DANG-DANG-DA-DANG-DANG-DANG.

I just can't get it up, I just can't get it up.
I just can't get it up, I just can't get it up. (repeated as many times as you wish)

William J. O’Brien, December 2001.

* I don't know if those suction pumps were invented in Sweden, but the one oin the Austin Powers film has a Swedish flag on it.

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