10    'Same difference'

To describe two things that are identical, like rubbish and garbage, instead of saying 'same thing', some poeple say 'same difference'. as far as I can tell, there is no difference between the two. So 'same thing' means the same thing as 'same difference'. Or should I say 'same thing' means the same difference as 'same difference'. I think people only say this because they want to be 'defferent'.

9    'It's a small world'

I'll admit that this is an expression, but it is overused one. People use when finding out that two people they know happen to know each other through other means. The thing that annoys me it that people use it in circmstances that are not that coincidental. For example if at Univeristy if should turn opur that a person I know on my course should be a good friend of someone I knew through a society, turned out to be good friends, this expression might be uttered. But I know a lot of people at University, so things like that happened quite often. However if it turned out that I should two people from the same city in Australia who happened to live on the same street, that would be real concidence. That sort of thing hasn't happened yet, incidentally.

8  'Sometimes it's harder playing against 10 men rather than 11'

This is what football managers say after their team loses or draws against a team who has had a player sent off. They are suggesting that the opposition are harder to score against when they only have ten men because they all stay back to defend rather than trying to score themselves. What the manager should say is something like 'Even though the other team had a player sent off we weren't good enough to win the game.'

7  'Oh, you've put me off my food now!'

This is what an annoying person whilst having dinner if other people at the table are talking about some grusome, such as the events of a horror film. Really the person is just saying because he or she is a wuss who doesn't like horror films and just wants people to change the subject. If they were talking about Alien, I might just understand their reasoning. I suppose someone might sat this as an excuse not to eat his or her dinner for some reason but doesn't want to offned the chef?

6    'Age before Beauty'

This is what some people say when serving dinner, usually, and some of the guests are significantly older than others. I don't think that the older people want to be reminded about their age, or their lack of beauty. It's like saying "I'd better serve you first as you're likely to suddenly drop dead before the day is over and I wouldn't want you to die hungry".
I guess if you were serving dinner for actor George Clooney and footballer Wayne Rooney you'd have to serve George first and say something like 'Age and Beauty first'

5    'Our biggest asset is our people.'

This is what companies write in their recruitment brochures. Yes, if you take away the personnel from the company it isn't really going to function very well, is it? So why state the obvious.

4    'To what do I owe this pleasure?'

This is what some people say on the telephone when you call them. It's a fancy way of saying 'Why are you calling?' The thing that annoys me is not so much the expression itself but the circumstances in which in teands to be used, in my experiences at least. It's usually said to me when it should completely obvious as to why I'm calling them. Quite often it's because they've offerred to do me a favour and completely forgotten about it or not bothered. Of course, it would have been better had they not offerred to do it............ By saying this they are trying to b nice before I tell them off in my usual half-hearted manner.

3 'Would you like to share the joke with the rest of the class?'

Teachers are very good at asking rhetorical questions, aren't they? Indeed I think the word 'rhetor' in Greek means teacher. This is the most annoying rhetorical question of them all, asked the moment someone in the class giggles. Of course the pupil is going to reply by saying 'I was just looking at that bit of snot which is stuck on your nasal hair'. I liked it though when John Cleese used this line when he did his teacher act in the Monty Python film 'The Meaning of Life' and again in 'Clockwise'.

2     'Do you mind?'

No, not "Do you mind if I borrow your step ladder for a couple of weeks" just "Do you mind?" on it's own. People say it when someone else has infringed them in some way. The mistake is probably unintentional, and you can be sure that the person saying it considers himself or herself to either more posh or more important (or both) than the person to whom it is being said.

  And my number 1 least favourite common expression is

'Schooldays are the happiest days of your life'

Oh Dear! How many people said this to me when I was a child. What I didn;t realise then was that the people saying this were mostly those who hadn't been to University. It's quite simple really, even you're bogged down with essays and exams, being 20 years old and a student and having the opportunity to mix other young people without having adults watching over you all the time is much more satisfying than being 10 years, to small to reach things, being told off by adults for little things and being teasing by your peers. Sure having a job sucks, but I;m still happier now than I was 15 years ago. At least no one says this to me any more. I wonder if Roger Waters would agree with this choice.